I am not an idiot sandwich.
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Hi! I'm Emily — and I like to cook. But I usually stick to the same quick things over and over again, like stir fry or salad.
And while that's all fine and good, it's not really helping me become a better cook. And it can get pretty boring, TBH.
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
So I decided to challenge myself — with the help of someone who I am literally obsessed with: Gordon Ramsay. 👑
I figured who better to help me up my kitchen game than this sexy, rude British man? He explains things so well and his voice is really soothing when he isn't yelling.
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
To prep, I watched a ton of videos on Gordon's how-to YouTube channel, and picked up my textbook of choice:
It's Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking ($25.53 on Amazon), and it has solid advice on everything from essential cooking tools to perfectly searing a steak.
Then I set my menu for the week ahead, picking a different dish or lesson to master each day: eggs, soup, salad, seafood, meat, pasta, and dessert.
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
I kicked off the week with something I figured would be foolproof: scrambled eggs. How hard could they be, right?
Gordon’s internet-famous scrambled eggs are supposed to come out fluffy and a little loose.
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But I screwed up pretty much immediately.
Despite the simple recipe, the eggs were surprisingly tricky to cook correctly. My mistake was starting with a too-hot pot (instead of heating the eggs up slowly), which meant the eggs overcooked almost immediately. Oops.
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
Spicy Mexican soup was next — which was perfect because it actually ended up being the first chilly day of the season.
SOUP WEATHER!
But everything started out like a disaster because I messed up some of the ingredients.
I bought chiles de arbol instead of chipotle chiles (read more here about why that's a significant difference), the avocado wasn't as ripe as I'd thought, and I couldn't find Lancashire cheese because we're not in Britain, dammit. After being very close to submitting my letter of resignation on day two, I took a breath and improvised. I found some chipotle seasoning in the back of the pantry, tried ripening the avocado in the oven (didn't work for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), and used queso fresco instead of Lancashire.
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Once I relaxed, the actual soup part was smooth sailing — and a reminder of the importance of seasoning as you go.
In his book, Gordon talks about tasting and seasoning throughout the cooking process. I took a quick bite midway through simmering and, to my disappointment, it didn't taste like much. No heat, no real flavor. So I threw in a bunch of salt, pepper, and more chipotle seasoning. I tried it again, and it honestly tasted like a totally different dish. Holy crap.
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
And BTW, the homemade tortilla chips were 💯.
Both the soup and the chips were shockingly simple, especially considering how much flavor they had. (Again, once I seasoned!) I'm now officially obsessed with chipotle chilis and definitely want to cook with them again.
Biggest Takeaway: Tasting and seasoning as you go is so important, and can make or break a dish.
My MasterChef Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥 / 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Full recipe: Spicy Mexican Soup
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
The downside? I didn't nail the perfect sear. (But they still tasted good as hell.)
Scallops are simple to work with, but I realized they definitely require very close attention to detail to get them just right. Because they cook so fast, Gordon recommends laying your scallops clockwise around the pan and flipping them in that order to get the perfect sear. I, of course, forgot which scallop I laid down first so they didn't weren't perfectly seared, but they were tasty AF, so I didn't care.
Biggest Takeaway: Eat more scallops. And pay attention to the order the scallops go in the pan.
My MasterChef Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥 / 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Full recipe: Pan-Seared Scallops with Crunchy Apple Salad
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
As a ~salad enthusiast~ myself, I have to say this was a quality salad.
I usually think that it's a waste of time to make homemade dressings, but this one totally changed my opinion. Everything was so fresh-tasting and complemented the salad so well. Another game changer was the deseeded cucumber: I would usually never put in the added effort in such a seemingly trivial step, but it was so much crispier without the watery seeds!
Biggest Takeaway: Homemade dressings are worth the effort, and searing a steak is all about timing.
My MasterChef Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥 / 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Full recipe: Spicy Beef Salad
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
But despite my gnocchi’s texture, the flavors were still really good — and it was my fave recipe to prepare.
The ingredients were simple, but each one did something different: The pepper popped, the peas gave a variation in texture, and rosemary made the butter taste really rich.
Biggest Takeaway: Even when you fuck up, cooking is about the experience.
My MasterChef Rating: 🔥🔥 / 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Full recipe: Homemade Gnocchi
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Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
I made it to the end of the week! To celebrate? Fancy chocolate tarts with peanut brittle. I knew this was going to be my biggest challenge because besides slicing premade cookie dough or pouring soda into a cake mix, I have...never baked.
I know. :x But I never understood the point when I could just buy Ben & Jerry's.
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed
Was it exhausting? Yes. Was it worth it? Abso-freakin'-lutely.
By the end of the week, I was DEAD because cooking is hard work. But as hard as we work to make cooking easier with one-pot recipes that only have three ingredients and cooking hacks to speed things up, there's something especially rewarding in slowing down when you can — and spending time in the kitchen with homemade pasta or from-scratch dessert.
I'm not saying I'm going to make one of these fancy shmancy recipes every single night. (I definitely don't have the budget, patience, or time — LOL.) But I will start making stuff like this more often, because it's nice to be intentional about it and challenge myself — and it's fun to treat my friends. Aaand it's what Gordon would want.
Emily Shwake / BuzzFeed
So am I a MasterChef? Probs not, but I'll have a great time trying.
^All I want from life. 😭
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via BuzzFeed/Food