Sunday 31 December 2017
19 Jokes Only You And Your Best Friend Will Get
I can’t with you, and I can’t without you.
Paramount Pictures / Sandra Lomotey / BuzzFeed
Ruby etc for BuzzFeed
presleighdawsyn
Bravo / Tahlia Pritchard / BuzzFeed
Jen Lewis / BuzzFeed
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed
Disney / Kayla Yandoli / BuzzFeed
via BuzzFeed/Travel
14 Of The Most Disrespectful Things That Have Ever Happened To Eggs
I feel unwell after seeing these…
I mean, look at this ying-yang unicorn bullshit!
WHHHYYYYY!?
And even this unicorn egg salad!
Unicorns are cool, eggs are cool too, but this is just too damn far.
That time someone decided it would be a good idea to make ACTUAL green eggs and ham.
I would NOT like them here or there, I would NOT like them fucking ANYWHERE!
Or how about that time someone got all gothic on us and ~died~ their egg whites.
I also died a little watching this...
These eggs that are being burnt with a blow torch.
This one just confuses me, TBH.
That time someone hard-boiled an egg for 10 hours.
I'm also confused about this, but you can watch it here.
When someone cooked up scrambled eggs with vodka...
I feel sick...
AND FUCKING ATE THEM!
I AM SICK.
This red scramble that looks more like Flamin Hot Cheetos than a proper breakfast.
I'm dangerously queasy.
The time someone tried turning eggs into dessert.
Let's be clear: Sprinkles are for cupcakes.
@senoritacupcake via Instagram / Via instagram.com
And when one egg dared to be different.
Don't eat it bro!
@honduranconquistador via Instagram / Via instagram.com
This ketchup massacre.
Would you like a side of eggs with your ketchup?
@kevinpiechocki via Instagram / Via instagram.com
The person who had the audacity to call this egg salad.
Stop giving good things a bad name.
@nbm_weightlossjourney via Instagram / Via instagram.com
And this horrific Pinterest fail.
Honey, you should maybe try avoiding grandma's cooking.
@saynomofam via Instagram / Via instagram.com
This poor yolk that was manhandled.
So jiggly.
And this very sad egg.
Also most likely how you feel about the current state of eggs.
@al75green via Instagram / Via instagram.com
So please, let this be a lesson — STOP GETTING SO DAMN CREATIVE WITH YOUR EGGS.
Comedy Central
via BuzzFeed/Food
Saturday 30 December 2017
Here's How Many Days It Would Take You To Watch Your Favorite Show
Wow, I do need to leave my couch.
TBH, you should never judge yourself for watching too much TV because TV loves you just as much as you love it.
Twentieth Century Fox
BUT, there's a new AT&T Internet Data Calculator that tells you exactly how much time it would take you to watch an entire show...and, well, now it's pretty hard not to judge yourself when you're looking at the cold, hard facts.
The calculator pulls from a list of 50 shows and episodes from up until mid-2017.
AT&T
Wanna re-watch all of Law & Order: SVU on Netflix? That would take you 15.6 days...if you took zero bathroom breaks.
NBC
What about Mad Men? That's just 9.1 eight-hour workdays of pretending to work, or 3.0 straight days of doing nothing but staring at a bunch of suits.
AMC / Via mashable.com
How about something a little more light-hearted, like That '70s Show? All you have to do is set aside two hours a night for 36.7 nights and you could get through that entire bad boy.
(That's 3.1 straight days with no breaks.)
FOX
Wanna cry for 204 hours or 25.5 eight-hour workdays? Well then watch some of that sweet, sweet Grey's Anatomy.
ABC
And finally, this is hard to believe, but it would only take you 229 hours (or 9.5 straight days) to get through 618 episodes of The Simpsons.
FOX
So go forth and spend all of your time watching TV! You deserve it!
IFC
via BuzzFeed/Travel
12 Cozy Beverage Recipes That Aren't Coffee
Because hot chocolate > coffee.
Pumpkin Spice Matcha Latte
Just about everyone loves matcha and pumpkin spice lattes, so why not combine the two and make one delicious hybrid? Get the recipe here.
Turmeric Latte
This golden turmeric latte is made with only six ingredients and will make you feel invincible. Get the recipe here.
Peppermint White Hot Chocolate
This festive hot chocolate gets a minty pop of flavor from peppermint extract — you can find it in the baking aisle of most grocery stores or online here. Get the recipe here.
Crème Brûlée White Hot Chocolate
If you really want to get fancy with your hot chocolate, this crème brûlée version is just the thing (caramelized sugar garnish and all). Get the recipe here.
via BuzzFeed/Food
19 Bulldogs Who'll Make You Scream "SO WRINKLYYYYY"
What mushballs.
This distinguished mushball:
Instagram: @scarletandgraybulldogs
And this lil' nugget:
This gentle napper:
And this relaxing pupper:
Instagram: @tank_the_english_bulldog17
This chunky munchkin:
And this adorable little pup:
Instagram: @chilli_and_shirley
This talented bullie:
And this major sports fan:
This tiny pile of wrinkles:
And this hidden reindeer:
This fashionable stud:
This lil' show-off:
Instagram: @curiousgeorge_thebulldog
And this way-too-cute troublemaker:
This stunning adventurer:
This little mush-mush who wants to play:
Instagram: @bandit_the_englishbully
And this bud who wants to know what's for dinner:
Instagram: @bubbathebulldog_ri
This big dreamer:
This Christmas fan:
And...Santa...is that you?
via Buzzfeed/Animals
These Are The Recipes You Should Try In 2018
Here’s what our editors and writers loved this year.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed
Black Pepper Tofu
This rules. I know many people find tofu bland, but this will, in the words of His Royal Highness Guy Fieri, take you on a quick trip to Flavor Town, mostly thanks to a metric ton of butter and black pepper.
It's pretty customizable and doesn't necessarily require a trip to the store, if you have tofu and shallots and ginger and green onions and some basic pantry items around. We swapped flour for the cornstarch and jalapeños for the red chiles, only used one kind of soy sauce, and cut the butter by two thirds, and it still tasted bomb.gov. Also: If you cook the shallots and tofu in different pans simultaneously, you cut cook time in about half. —Ellen Cushing
Get the recipe here.
Todd Coleman / saveur.com
Garlic Parmesan Zoodles
If you're new to zoodles and feeling equal parts hungry and intimidated, this is one of the easiest ~spiralized~ recipes I've ever made. Better yet: If you, like me, have a fridge in the summer that mostly consists of zucchini and cheese, then you will always be about 20 minutes away from eating this.
I was worried that I'd still be ravenous after eating a bowl of this (okay, two bowls... Fine, three). Fortunately, my husband and I loved it and were totally satisfied with it for a light dinner, especially because it meant we had some room for ice cream a few hours later. 😇 —Rachel Christensen
Get the recipe here.
Sesame Avocado Salad
On nights when I'm simply too tired to cook, I make this salad (and by salad I mean avocados with toppings). It's one of those recipes that don't need a recipe ― which are my favorite kind. I quarter an avocado or two, dress them in a tablespoon each of sesame oil, soy sauce, and lime juice, and garnish them with sesame seeds, a dash of cayenne, and cilantro. I usually eat them by themselves, but I imagine they would be pretty darn good over rice as well. —Jesse Szewczyk
Jesse Szewczyk / BuzzFeed
Ina Garten’s Parmesan-Roasted Broccoli
This recipe is perfect. It's cheesy and lemony and filling and fairly easy to make, though there is a bit of prep work. I keep forgetting to even take pictures of it because as soon as it's ready I just eat the entire batch. I also experimented with using purple basil for one of the batches, and while it was fine, the original version was much better. I shouldn't have questioned Ina. —Jessica Probus
Get the recipe here.
James Ransom / food52.com
My Grandma's Chickpea and Cilantro Soup
This was one of my favorite meals growing up and I would constantly ask my grandmother to make it. It's a tomato-based soup with some chickpeas and pasta, served with a good dose of freshly chopped cilantro. It's the best.
My grandmother doesn't cook anymore and I live abroad so I hadn't had that soup in years but I found myself craving it last summer. I called my grandma to ask for the recipes and her instructions were hilariously vague — it didn't really come as a surprise since she has never followed a recipe in her life, always cooking on instinct and somehow always getting it right.
Here's an actual moment from our conversation:
Me: How many tomatoes do you put in this?
Her: Just enough.
Me: How much is enough?
Her: You'll know.
After many more questions, I managed to get the broad outline of a recipe and I filled in the blanks myself. The result was as delicious as I remembered it and is bound to become a staple in my home again. —Marie Telling
Get the recipe here.
Marie Telling / instagram.com
Apple Custard Tart
This tart is nothing more than a classic (but delicious) apple custard tart in a pecan crust ― what makes it special is the intricate rose design made with sliced apples. This recipe arranges them them into individual roses, but I decided to make one giant one by working my way from the outside in.
The trick to making the design is to cut your apples super thin and soften them by marinating them in a mixture of melted butter, orange juice, and sugar. This will softened them just enough to fold them without breaking while maintaining their bright red color. I admit, this recipe takes a while to make (that design is truly a labor of love), but the impressive presentation is definitely worth it. —Jesse Szewczyk
Get the recipe here.
Jesse Szewczyk / BuzzFeed
Rustic White Bread
This year, I kneaded bread for the first time and it was SO EASY. I used this recipe with minor tweaks (I used bread flour instead of all purpose flour, and baked it in a Dutch oven instead of a cloche).
I've been on a bit of a bread-making kick, but up until now I've only made no-knead bread — the idea of kneading bread by hand was really intimidating! This was shockingly easy (and even more shockingly NOT MESSY), and only took 10 minutes of kneading. I could really tell a difference in the density and elasticity of the dough, and the resulting bread was hands down the best I've ever made. It had a light, consistent crumb and was much more flavorful than the no-knead loaves I've made in the past! —Cates Holderness
Get the recipe here.
Sara Kate Gillingham / thekitchn.com
Miso Ramen Bowls With Tofu and Bok Choy
I made this recipe from a Sun Basket meal kit, but I will absolutely be bookmarking the recipe and making it over and over again.
I thought making ~fancy~ ramen (aka not just the packaged stuff) would be really difficult. But it actually required little more than chopping veggies and boiling noodles. Don't let the ingredients — dashi seasoning, gochujang sauce — intimidate you: You can buy mostly everything from any Asian grocery store. And knowing that I can make this comforting and hearty soup at home rather than ordering it in or spending $15 for a bowl at a restaurant is a total game-changer for me. You can also substitute whatever protein or veggies you want so you can constantly change up the recipe. —Hannah Loewentheil
Get the recipe here.
Hannah Loewentheil / BuzzFeed
Chocolate Babka
Over the past two years I've made countless loaves of babka and EVERY. DAMN. TIME. I have been disappointed! The loaves would come out dry, overcooked, not browned enough ― I was always underwhelmed. This year, I tried a new recipe from Bon Appétit that was the babka of my dreams.
Soft, chocolaty, browned, and shiny ― this babka was literally perfect! The recipes does take some time due to the rising and shaping of the dough, but the end result is totally worth it. I decided to skip the streusel topping and wasn't disappointed at all (the loaf was perfect all on it's own). If you love cinnamon rolls, try making a babka to take your baking to a whole new level. —Jesse Szewczyk
Get the recipe here.
Jesse Szewczyk / Instagram: @jesseszewczyk
Creamy White Chicken Enchiladas
If you've never made enchiladas before, you are missing out on a really easy go-to, crowd-pleasing type of dinner. I avoided them for a long time because I thought they sounded intimidating but they're basically as easy as assembling fajitas and pouring sauce on top.
Seriously, the most intimidating thing about this recipe is whisking the white sauce but you can totally do it! The only note I'd make is to add more peppers if you like spice—you might find it bland if you don't.
I shredded some rotisserie chicken to make things easy, and also I used regular sour cream instead of light sour cream because that's what I had on hand. They came out super rich. Not that I'm complaining! But I did have a very light breakfast and lunch the next day :) —Rachel Christensen
Get the recipe here.
Ovenly's Secretly Vegan Salted Chocolate Chip Cookies
It gives me no pleasure to tell you the best chocolate chip cookie I've ever made (and one of the top five I've ever had) is vegan. I mean, it's wonderful that it's vegan, because animals yay!!! But now I'm the person who is telling you (especially my butter cookie goddess of a mother-in-law) that oil is the backbone of a perfectly chewy/crispy/soft/caramel-y cookie and I know that some people will hate me for it. But that's what you get with me, folks. ~Realness~
Anyway, it's a Food52 Genius recipe adapted from a beloved bakery in Brooklyn, which is to say that it's got well-written and straightforward instructions, with precise guidelines that you should not stray from. This includes refrigerating the dough (just like BuzzFeed did in our amazing Ultimate Chocolate Chip cookies recipe!) and buying some fancy-ass sea salt that you should put on everything you eat in general.
I made these cookies to fuel my vegan brother and sister-in-law for a few days after the birth of their daughter. What I wasn't expecting: for everyone in their hospital room, even the self-proclaimed carnivores, to eat at least three cookies each. Each! —Rachel Christensen
Get the recipe here.
James Ransom / food52.com
Olive Oil-Fried Eggs With Yogurt and Lemon
Julia Turshen's trick for cooking eggs (straight out of her cookbook Small Victories) is LEGIT a game changer. The technique solves that dreaded problem of wanting runny yolks but HATING snotty, undercooked whites.
Her trick? As you fry your eggs, add a few drops of water to the pan and immediately cover them with a lid. This will create just enough steam to set the whites while maintaining that beautiful runny yolk. Julia serves them with lemony Greek yogurt and fresh herbs for an unexpected (and delicious) breakfast, but this simple trick is perfect for a simple fried egg toast. Try it out next time you make breakfast for the perfect fried egg. —Jesse Szewczyk
Get the recipe here.
Jesse Szewczyk / Instagram: @jesseszewczyk
Jamie Oliver's Chicken in Milk
I made Jamie Oliver's Chicken in Milk (wait, keep reading — despite the name, it's really really good, I promise) after hearing rave reviews from three friends. And you guys, it sounds awful, but it is so delicious and it's super easy.
Basically you fry a whole chicken in a little olive oil in a Dutch oven or another big pot to get the skin all crispy, and then you pour in milk, lemon zest, sage, and cinnamon and toss it in the oven. The result is the moistest chicken I've ever had with an amazing creamy lemon sauce to spoon all over it.
I just roasted up a bunch of veggies in olive oil to serve with it all week long and some arugula in case I decide to turn some of it into a salad. I rarely roast a whole chicken because it's usually just me eating it, but I think this one might not make it through the week. —Sarah Mimms
Get a step-by-step here and the detailed recipe here.
Faith Durand / thekitchn.com
via BuzzFeed/Food
