Get your “zoodles” OUT 👏 OF 👏 MY 👏 FACE. 👏
You HAAAAAAAATE salads.
Nothing's worse than when you say you want to go somewhere with vegetarian options and your friends drag you to a fucking Sweetgreen or Chopt.
NBC
But you don't feel like eating hot animal carcass either, so.
TLC
On the off chance you do eat a salad, you make sure it's covered in croutons and CHEEEEEEEEESE!
You have a couple specific vegetables you'll tolerate.
Namely potatoes.
Of all shapes and sizes and ~genres~.
You're v into Trader Joe's and Whole Foods!!! 😍 😍 😍
And you consider yourself to be quite the ~meatless meat~ connoisseur.
Chickenless tenders? Yes pls!!!
Gardein / Via jet.com
Besides ~meatless meats~, your main food groups include pizza, pasta, Chinese food, Mexican food, tofurkey sausages, soup and beer.
E!
Regarding soup, nothing pisses you off more than WHEN PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT IF THERE'S CHICKEN BROTH IN A SOUP, IT'S NOT VEGETARIAN!!!
CHICKEN 👏 BROTH 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 VEGETARIAN. 👏
Like, why is this such a difficult concept to grasp?!
You spend a lot of time and money at Panera.
This looks soooo good except for that salad!!!!!!!!!
One of your parents constantly jokes that you're a "carb-etarian."
Starchetarian's another good one, Dad.
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But you don't deny it because bread truly is what keeps you going.
You can't stand that LITERALLY EVERY VEGGIE OPTION EVER features an abundance of eggplant and/or portobello mushrooms.
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You don't trust the culinary tomfoolery that is "zoodles."
AKA zucchini noodles. AKA FAKE NEWS!!!!!!!
The only culinary tomfoolery that IS actually worth your time is mashed cauliflower. DON'T @ ME!!!!!!!!
If you haven't tried it, trust.
Everyone thinks you're "so healthy" just because you're a vegetarian.
But in actuality, it doesn't mean anything.
NBC
But despite the constant vegetarian turmoil, you're all about protectin' animals and eatin' bread, so in the end, you're happy.
Cheezburger / Via senorgif.com
via BuzzFeed/Food
